you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
