one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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