Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
