That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
