She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
