some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
