you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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