I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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