so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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