I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
