i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You're like the curious george of whores
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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