i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
