Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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