Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
