And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
