I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
