I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
