Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
