i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
