last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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