What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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