yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
