I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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