I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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