How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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