It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
