Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can text with my tongue
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
