Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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