You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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