So drunk its hurt
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
