he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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