dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
