the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
