He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
