he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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