Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
