It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
