just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
