went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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