Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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