Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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