You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
