That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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