I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
