I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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