do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
