When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
