He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
