ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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