Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
